NO REGRETS

No regrets

This day keeps mem’ries.

An annual deposit.

Don’t let this thought go.

- Dade

People. I think one of the easiest things we can let ourselves believe is that we can get by in life without letting others effecting us. Admittedly, I do this every day at work. My favorite and least favorite job is the same thing. Stocking fruit: a menial task of going into a cold walk in, putting fruit into baskets, and then transferring them into crates out front….Trying to keep up with the avid Intel banana addicts. Why it’s my favorite: I’m not out front with customers (I like silence, and time to think) and time passes quickly. My least favorite: It’s meaningless. There is no joy in getting an impatient customer their banana, or getting complaints on how overly ripe or not ripe enough their banana is. It’s repetitive. And I’m pretty sure I’m not changing the world one tangerine at a time.

But I’m starting to realize something. Something that you may read and agree with, but go on in life like you’re still ignorant of it. I know I will.

The realization started on a day that was not going very well. And I was determined to keep my mood like a storm- when a customer caught my eye as I put pears into the according basket. “Dade, Have I ever told you that I like your haircut?” I couldn’t avoid the smile that was destined for my face, as I recognized him, his voice- and his repetitive compliment. “No, I don’t think you have- at least not today.” We laughed together and he walked away. Similar to falling, letting go is much easier than climbing and pulling yourself up. My happy glow faded. The contrast between how smiley the costumer had left me and how heavy I suddenly felt, gave me more excuses to fall further. It happened over and over again; a costumer, co worker, my sister- little sparks or lifelines that they threw to me, but I rejected them. “People Make The Difference.” As much as I refused to believe it, in both good and bad ways, it seems so obvious to me.

There are so many branches I could go down from this seed of thought. Life without people, how wonderfully quiet it would be- to how devastatingly lonely one could become. Yeah, my family’s important. At first this was the only thing I could really accept fully. I don’t know why it’s so much easier to love family, get mad at them, forgive them, and love them even more. What I do know, I know God gave me my family, and that was a good place to start.

“And the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” Gen. 2:18

In Genesis, God says that man should not be alone, and then in the following verses he brings forth beasts and animals, and that’s when Adam names them. …. “for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.” Then this is where God creates Eve, and thus the first family is created. Though it’s obvious Adam’s help meet was not found in the animals and beasts, I think vaguer, but equally important that his help meet was a human, is a human.

“Some of the saddest words in the English language are these- ‘that could have been’.” My institute teacher (from a religious class) said something like this. Then a moment of silence to let us think about them. He told us that if there was any advice he could give us as an old man (he doesn’t seem THAT old) he told us to live with no regrets.

Doctrine and Covenants section 88 is the section we were studying that day and verse 32, “ 32 And they who remain shall also be quickened; nevertheless, they shall return again to their own place, to enjoy that which they are willing to receive, because they were not willing to enjoy that which they might have received.”  Not things that were not given to us, but gifts and joys that we could have had, if we had simply been willing to receive. No regrets.

Let’s take these two strands of thoughts, two ribbons of truth, and create a bow.

The coworker who mocks your beliefs, the friend who cut you off, the boy friend who broke your heart, the one who cooled scars, the friend who nourishes the relationship, or customer who makes you smile. The death of a family member, close friend- or really anyone you know. The old man or preppy girl that you pass in the grocery store or street- and ignore (but you really aren’t, you’re either thinking about them, or not- either way it shows what kind of person you’ve come, habits). This endless list of people in our lives – every single one. The moment we look at them, thinking about them, hear them- they’ve taken part in your life and changed you. Whether you look at them or not, make a judgment or not, choices you make start in your thoughts and then trigger thoughts and choices that reveal your character. I think the most beautiful part of this, is that it’s a whole world of your own. Maybe something like a painting, each person can resemble a paint stroke. Whether they’re part of the center of your painting or the edges, all together creates the beautiful art.

I don’t know what stops us from being proactive. Why is it so hard to say hi to random people when we’ll probably never see them again anyways? And if we did- then wouldn’t they have a good impression of us from the earlier interaction? And then what happens to us as people? What about saying ‘sorry’? Or admitting the truth? Keeping secrets to ourselves, opposed to gossip?

D&C 88:91 “And all things shall be in commotion; and surely, men’s hearts shall fail them; for fear shall come upon all people.”

Fear, any of the other weaknesses that pull us down so quickly and easily. I end and testify that God lives. I know he does. Is it hard to live like I do? Sometimes, but the moments I am happy outweigh those of sad. My family and religion is the source of my strength.

“I asked God to take away my pride. And God said "No".
He said it was not for Him to take away, but for me to give up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. And God said "No".
He said her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience. And God said "No".
He said patience is a by-product of tribulations. It isn't granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness. And God said "No".
He said He gives me blessings, happiness is up to me.

I asked God to spare me pain. And God said "No".
He said suffering draws me apart from worldly cares and brings me closer to Him.

I asked God to make my spirit grow. And God said "No".
He said I must grow on your own. But He will prune me to make me fruitful.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. And God said "No".
He said He will give me life, that I may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me love others, as much as he loves me.
And God said "Ah, finally you have the idea!"

- Claudia